nuance

I have to be honest. My blogging prowess is dwindling the way that newly learned snowboard tricks dwindle during the off season or newly formed muscle dwindles when you don’t have the time to work out for two or three or four weeks, all of which are currently happening to me right about now. So this is my attempt to get back into the game. It’s the first rail of the season. It’s the first chest press after getting over a relentless cold.

And it is an interesting moment in time for me. God has been doing amazing things in my life, things I don’t thank him for enough. Our group has morphed and evolved into a church, an intentional community of faith called dwell. We are outgrowing my living room really fast. It’s a sprint right now. A sprint towards a finish line that we know is there, but can’t see.

I have great expectancy for this Sunday, and I’m not quite sure why. I am expectant, and actually really nervous. Which is weird because I don’t really get nervous anymore when I am leading or speaking, but I am legitimately nervous, three days out.

Perhaps the reason is because last week was such a canon-shot forward for our group. Chris’s last week leading worship, Josh getting into the mix, lighting up the living room with acoustic+electric, heartfelt songs to Jesus. Almost 20 people. Such rich fellowship. A glimpse of things to come.

I am also a bit excitedly nervous about the wedding next week…but again, this nervousness is strange and not really negative. It is just speaking to me of the bigness of this time. It is a big time. Big time.

I talked to Chris and Cass last night about the wedding theme, and I couldn’t be more pumped. Transformation. Death and resurrection. Life. Grace. It will be the BEST EVER.

That’s all I got right now…except for the geese. I couldn’t sleep the other night, nervous, anxious, praying, desperately praying even, asking God to speak to me. Give me a vision or something! I’m half delirious anyway! No vision. But peace came over me as the thought came in….God is already speaking and showing himself, just look at all that is happening around you. I started to doze, like someone threw a warm blanket over my overthinking brain. Then the loudest sound of a flock of geese pierced the silence and woke me up - the thing were shreiking and squawking and dogs started barking like mad. I thought I was dreaming.

Maybe God was giving me what I asked for. All creation groans. The city of Burlington groans. Sure it’s for the manifestation of the sons of God when Jesus comes back, but the eschaton starts now when the church does its job and the Spirit moves resurrecting hearts. So Burlington is groaning, if we’ll wake up and answer the call.